Homophobia

It's been too long. That's okay, though.

 I've been busying myself with tumblr when I'm meant to do homework.
And I enjoy tumblr and fuck school because where does it really get you anyway?

Careers can go die in a hole because all I want is a shitty cafe job which earns me enough to buy pencils for writing and a tiny apartment with a girl i love and a rainy day to cuddle and eat sweet food or drink hot soup. That's what life's for, isn't it? It isn't about high pay and bad days but people watching and learning and loving and exploring and being happy.

Happiness. In a pdhpe assignment (the teacher is an absolute fucking fuckwit, can i just say that) one of the suggested personality traits was 'happy'. It's not a trait. Positive is a trait. Happiness is not a constant. it's a rare and amazing state where for a moment you're truly smiling and you notice how wonderful the world is for a minute. That's what I live for.
So should I really get off the internet and do maths questions which make me hate myself and life? no i fucking shouldn't.

and for your benefit I shall explain why mr o'brien is a fuck. yesterday we learnt the sumba. and he said we had to do it with the opposite sex for the assessment. we questioned it extensively and argued until i gave up because i was starting to cry.
he justified it by saying 'it would be like in a maths exam if you sat with a friend and shared answers. it'd be cheating. the teacher would say you can't do that because it's an individual assessment'. At that point Chanse and I aggressively pointed out in unison that it wasn't an individual assignment, followed with not-so-quietly whispering 'you fuck'. He continued with bullshit backups and I started to tear up so I just turned away and ignored him and almost walked out of school but I knew we had src elections later (and thats a proper way of dealing with it).
He said 'I want you to be comfortable with your sexuality, but..' and Chanse and I were just like No you fucking don't you dick' to each other. He ended asking 'is that fair enough?' and Chanse and I had both just turned away from him but Jam said 'Yeah, that's fair' and I know she was just doing it to silence the argument but it pissed me off so much because it wasn't fucking okay.
He hates us but fuck him and I really hate pdhpe and don't want to do the assignments now.
Then I asked to go to the bathroom while they learnt the whatever the fuck the dance was and just stood in front of the mirror for a while feeling nauseous and realising what a horrible and homophobic place the world still is. As i walked into the toilets though lizzy smiled at me and I almost cried (im almost crying now) because it was the most sympathetic and loving smile dear god.
it was an interesting experience though because living primarily on tumblr and with a very accepting group of friends has made me forget homophobia and he showed me a taste of what i'll be dealing with all my life. fuck yay. he is such a fucking discriminatory prick and he's super nasty to everyone I hate him with a passion I'm actually shaking. fuck.

anyway. sorry. bye.