My friends

okay so, my wonderful friends:

jesse:
really friendly, enthusiatic, puts her all into everthing she does and is super passionate, and always there for me to talk to about stuff from standing on a stingray (which was terrifying and funny at the same time, okay) to DnMs. Shes the most beautiful person ive ever met (outside and inside) and shes really upbeat and cheery and strongly emotional which i love because its a contrast to me (who keeps emotions internal and hates people seeing me cry).
generally just amazing, really.

zara:
weirdy who is just brilliant. ah thats basically summarised her. shes like the most straight edge perfect seeming girl, but then you get to know her... and, well, yeah. very fun to be around and talk to about deep stuf or funny things or anything. and when she says the word poo or bottom she starts giggling and its really cute and hilarious, and shes also gorgeous.

claire:
source of all wisdom. source of all wisdom (repeated for emphasis). she has much crush/love experience, which makes her the best person to go to for that kinda advice and she is a pretty amazing advice giver. also, doctor claire. she has so much knowledge of sickness and injury its crazy (due to her personal experiences XD). cool to talk to about lots of things - shares my love of stars and outdoors and such things. wonderful person and super pretty (esp with new blue hair streak).

and
others

sorrie!
im too lazy to do everyone okay, welcome to another fault of my personality :3

Hollowness

Okay.
Hi.
I feel, nervous? I don't know. Hollow in the stomach area. Weird.
Jesse sent me her conversation with Sacha, Claire's long time crush/love, and damn I think he likes Jesse. A bit, at least. He complemented her a lot throughout the convo and used a pick up line (really well actually) and invited her to the movies and I was reading it with this sinking hollowness like man, drama may start.  Claire /really/ likes him. But Jesse seriously friendzoned him to death so she did well but still oh dear.
Well thats my little venting of the hollowness (it worked, too). So I'll finish with this topic.

Actually I'll let this have a post to itself so happier stuff can be separate :)

Ahaha just realised that with the thing of sacha asking jesse to the movies and her responding by suggesting bringing the whole group of friends, shes done the same thing to me.
the thing i identified as superb friendzoning skills.
maybe thats why
i can feel my heart jumping around
and i feel a little bit hollow again
aghh
what can i do
if i dont even know
what i feel